Keeping Up Apperances

At times the quest to deal with physical deterioration, especially for one as young and big as me, is to deal with appearances. 

When you’re over 6-5 and appear robust you should act accordingly, or so the social norm suggests.

Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances

After three-and-a-half years of heart deterioration that got to the point of discussions of heart valve replacement or an actual transplant, before treatment of my AL amyloidosis (which spurred all of the heart issues) took me a different route, I am especially in a tough place in the appearance process.

I qualify for special considerations like you can’t believe now.  It’s not that I would always want them----quite the opposite.  I have a handicap parking permit but have learned from sad experience that is hardly a remedy at all.   I now actively seek out electric carts if I go out shopping.  I can easily get in trouble without one. In some of the big boxes, I don’t go any further without them.  I simply can’t afford to pass out on a hard floor or have an incident that spurs a medical intervention, from people who wouldn’t have a clue of how to treat my situation.

It’s easier to get out with an electric cart than to cause panic, and end up on a gurney headed towards the back of an ambulance.

My eye opener occurred in the WinCo in Roy, Utah around Thanksgiving where the length of the store caught up with me and had me unable to recuperate by taking a knee. I was rescued by an astute store employee who quickly got me an electric cart and allowed me to sit down, function and finish my transactions, instead of taking an ambulance ride.  She literally saved me with her kind act but the incident was a tough lesson:  appearances or not, you need extra help!

The looks I get sometimes in stores, especially from the elderly would be hard to categorize, now that I seek out the carts.

Made me think of a British comedy, which I will watch when Cindy isn’t around called “Keeping Up Appearances.”

The well written tales involve an eccentric social climb Hyacinth Bucket who is determined to look for chances to climb the social ladder and portray herself as among the elite.  The stories are enriched by her interactions with a neighbor, a priest and a slovenly brother-in-law.  To add to the delight, Hyacinth’s discussions about her perfect son Sheridan, always bring an easy grin.

The show only had a five -year run but are so well written they still easily cause a laugh in me, as Hyacinth pushes the extremes with her attempt to appear to be something she isn’t.

I am a poor Hyacinth.  I don’t look like I should merit any special attention, even if medical reality suggests otherwise. 

The other day at Wal-Mart a clerk was kind enough to chase 50 yards to the other side of the store to get me a cart, so I could actually shop.  In doing so he pulled up just as an elderly woman, who looked to be in her 80s, went in search of a cart.  The cart was given to me and the nice clerk went in search of another.  The look from the elderly woman was classic.

What was a “healthy” looking male like me doing taking a cart?  Besides a look of loathing, her eyes seemed to convey the message she was female, old and doesn’t walk well. I found myself thinking---only momentarily---would you rather pick me up off the floor, or worry about your legs aching a little?

It took hit another level this week when I was in a Costco, following my wife with a cart, and a woman, who had served on the Farmington City Council and dealt with me for over a year or so, saw me and greeted me warmly.  Seeing the cart she asked innocently enough if I had just gone through knee replacement surgery. A short explanation and she understood.   Ironically, I was on the way home from a chemotherapy session. 

So I’m a work in progress.  I don’t want the appearance of being sick, or sickly or dying, but I still need the special considerations.  Hyacinth I could use some help keeping up with appearances!